Gay couple writes to Dear Abby about son-in-law who refuses to let them stay the night

Imagine this: you’re a gay couple who are married, you have a grown daughter. One day, that daughter marries a man who refuses to let you spend the night when you visit from out of town. What do you do?

This is the plight facing one gay man who recently wrote in to the popular Dear Abby advice column. As “Unwelcome in the West” writes, he’s been with his husband since 2007 and in 2010 moves to Arizona. “We have been visiting our families as often as possible,” he adds, “at least every other year.”

The only issue is that their son-in-law “refuses to let us stay the night in his home when we visit.” The son-in-law’s reasoning, according to him, is that “he doesn’t want to have to explain to his two daughters why we sleep in the same bed. (The daughters are 6 and 8).”

As expected, neither of the men feel comfortable around their son-in-law and have refused to this year’s viist. Their daughter, for her part, has offered to put them up in a hotel and, when that was refused, offered to come visit them with their granddaughters. They declined that, too.

The column’s writer, Abigail Van Buren, responded pointedly, saying “I see nothing positive to be gained by punishing your daughter and your 6- and 8-year-old grandchildren, who have offered viable alternatives, because their father is uncomfortable with your sexual orientation.”

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Rather than cutting off contact altogether, Van Buren suggests allowing the daughter to visit with the grandchildren, adding “Foster a strong relationship with all of them. If you succeed, your narrow-minded son-in-law may find himself increasingly marginalized.”

So, what do you think OMFGay readers? Are the husbands in the right or should they acquiesce to their daughter and agree to one of her solutions?